march 12, 2014

holy cow. it’s almost the middle of march. the puppy calendar that hangs in my kitchen still reads 2013. i should probably take it down…

so much has happened since my last post. like always. as life should have it…

sean and i are in a much happier place. we talk, we always talk. thats one of the best things about us–we always work out what’s going on. if one of us doesn’t understand, we communicate that to the other and we both talk until we’re sure that we’re always on the same page. 

he’s such a great guy. not sure how i got so lucky to have him call me his. his smile is so happy but sneaky. i love that it looks like he’s always thinking something. most of the time it’s something thoughtful like blueberries and chocolate when i’m PMSing. but some times it’s playful. i like that the most about him. he’s so much fun. 

about a week ago, he sold my jeep for me. in about 2 days. for way more than i thought I would get it for. i took him out to sushi and helped him out with his rent.

also, our sex continues to get better! yesterday on our hike, we found a cool spot on some rocks by the river. he fucked me doggy style and it was the first time i had ever had an orgasm outside. my right knee is still so bruised!

i’ve stopped taking birth control and have started to use the rhythm method to track when i’m ovulating and fertile. i started ovulating last wednesday (a week ago) we had sex over the weekend and it was so amazing. on saturday i asked him to cum inside me. twice. i knew i was ovulating and so did he but in the heat of things we just went for it. to be honest, the thought of us having children together turns us on even more. right after we finished intercourse i had this feeling that we had just made a baby. i said nothing and tried to push the thoughts away. we went on with our day and a few hours later while we were in the car, he turned to me at a red light and said, “babe. i don’t know how to say this but i think we made a baby this morning.” 

the next couple of days he kept rubbing my belly and smiling.

i had to get plan b. because i know i’ll never go through with an abortion. 

at least not with this man.

i want a child with sean so bad. but the timing needs to be right. i need to find a career (i’ve been looking into nursing). he needs a steadier paycheck. and we need to live together.

he tells me that he feels like the pressure is on to move in with me. and it should be. i tell him that there’s not rush but that he did tell me that within the next few months he’d be ready to move in with me. i know he can do it. that’s the great thing about sean–his follow through. if you let him know that you really want something to happen, he’ll make it happen for you.

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