forgive me blog-God for I have sinned. it has been 2 months and 7 days since my last emotional rant.
so it’s 3:30 pm. haven’t rolled out of bed today except to pee and rehydrate. it’s my second day off after a 10 week work stint. boy, has it been crazy… i’m exhausted! i’m getting so old that even sleeping doesn’t help.
today i woke up, chatted with my mother on the phone for a bit, and got a BUNCH of stuff done. I reposted my jeep on craigslist with a lower asking prices–for the third time. I set up my account through the IRC (my new place of internship *hopefully*). I figured out when the government would start harassing me about my student loans and how to extend a grace period. I also figured out how to check my pay stubs digitally (only took me a year and a half!). This led me to discovering that each time I get taxed, the government rapes me for almost a fifth of my wages!
Fuck that, right?! Jesus i’m paying to a bunch of government programs THAT I DONT EVEN USE!!!!!! god damnit, my social security check better be BANGIN’ when i get to that point because honestly i’m pissed! so from now on, one four hour a shift a week, i’m gonna be the laziest son of a gun. cause hell, i’m not getting paid for it! the government is taking it from me and giving it to people who i dont even know. my dad would be upset that i’m typing this cause he’s a democrat! and i totally believe in social programs BUT FUCK. I HARDLY MAKE ENOUGH AS IT IS. TAKE IT FROM THE PEOPLE WHO CAN AFFORD IT.
speaking of social programs, i have an internship in the works! it’s with this really great nonprofit organization called the International Rescue Committee. The focus is basically on providing aid of various types to refugees around the world. My job as a development intern would allow me to help newly arrived refugees become self sufficient! I am truly excited about this because it seems like a great way to help people who need it. I feel like I’m struggling with moving out on my own, but here are these people coming in from different countries just like my father did. It seems like a great cause and I’m extremely happy I found out about it!
The guy im seeing–Rob. or was seeing… so not over his ex and i finally had to call him out on his shit.
nemo will text me every so often, telling me that he’s thinking of me. michael, the guy from two posts ago who lives at home, still texts me as well. like almost daily. i dont get it. he tells me shit like he had seriously thought about making me his girlfriend when i lived down there, that he misses me for more than just sex, that he’s gonna come visit eventually… stuff like that. which makes me SAD and a little butt hurt at the same fucking time because like A), he DIDNT make me his gf when i was down there and i would have been so fucking down even though i was fucking 2 other dudes at the same time.. i would have dropped those losers… and that B), what the fuck is the point of saying it now?! LIKE HONESTLY. what the fuck can we do about how much you really liked me but never really showed me?
also… jew boy. like wtf. think about him from time to time. maybe telling him the abortion didnt work. lol.