I’m hungry

Hello, World. How are you today?

Im fine… Chewing gum. At my god awful internship. Taking dimensions of rocks! Woohoo. Exciting stuff! … Not.

Guess the jokes on me, though…. Im the one stuck here on this beautiful day. I have 3 more hours today. And 4.5 hours tomorrow until i reach my 96 hour goal.

Guys are weird. Cant love with em, cant live without em.

The guy I’ve been dating for the past couple of months is kind of a mess… But I dont mean that in the conventional way. He doesn’t do drugs, he lives on his own (and has been since he was 18), and has a great-paying full time job. What i mean by “a mess” is his scattered personality… He seems to be a bunch of different guys wrapped into one depending on what his mood is. I can distinctly pick out 4 different personas. When he’s sober, he can either be really sweet and romantic or outgoing and playful. When he’s drunk he’s other a complete asshole or weird goofball. Maybe i shouldn’t be psychoanalyzing this guy…. But whatever, it’s interesting and im dating him. Lately I’ve just been feeling laissez-faire about our situation because im sort of over trying to figure him out, trying to figure out what it is that i dont like about him…. So i can clear the air and we can both move on.

The last time i saw him, he was piss drunk. I had driven over to his place and planned to take him to go get food. We see driving in his neighborhood, one im not familiar with at all, so i ask him to navigate me. After a while he stops navigating, so i mindlessly keep driving straight, waiting for him to tell me to turn. Out of no where he starts yelling at me, asking me what the hell im doing, telling me i suck at driving, and he’s so pissed that he’d rather just go home than get food. Usually if someone’s acting a wee bit bitchy, i brush it off because we can all get that way sometimes–especially when drunk and hungry. But he was so aggressive about something minuscule, i had to speak up and defend myself… His personality flipped again–he started showering me with kisses and holding my hand…..

He’s overly sloppy when he’s drunk. He appears to drink a lot. And when he gets drunk, the smallest things trigger him, and he turns into a completely different guy. I think i may be dealing with an abusive alcoholic? Sounds like a slippery slope but he’s only 24…

When one door closes, another one opens.

An old friend has made an effort and reached out to me. It made me happy. I hope its sincere :)


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