The Neighbourhood

Discovered this band about a week ago when their song ‘Sweater Weather’ was playing on a locals only station on the radio. Downloaded their EP ‘I’m Sorry…’ On iTunes and have been playing it non stop!!!!

Saw them on Tuesday night at the Constellation Room… Amazing!!!! Got all my friends hooked on them too after seeing them live.

Amazing guitar and percussion… And the lead singer (besides being super hot) has a voice like butter!!

Loved dancing to them.

Only got one pic….

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12/13 poem

you were reliable,
i always knew when you’d come to town,
you’d give me a big kiss–
i know you’d never let me drown

i could expect the kiss and the conversation
were no match for my frown.
i always knew you’d cheer me up,
i know you’d never let me down.

and when i tried to protect a piece, you turned it all around.
it’s me– im the problem cause
i know you’d never let me down

and when i cried because you yelled, i was wrong cause
i didnt know thats how you joked around.
forgive me–i know you’d never let me down

so when i swam to free myself
from someone who was sure to let me drown,
my heart sank because i know you’d never let me down.

carrot

over this past semester, i’ve come to realize how much i’ve missed blogging. i used to blog all of the time back in middle school and even throughout high school for a couple of years. once i started to grow up, i focused too much on the things outside of me… like love, school, and my social life. because of this, i didn’t really take any time to separate my personas and reflect on what it all meant. blogging allows me to gain introspection. it’s modern day journaling only without the nagging suspicion that your sister is reading your diary… because with blogging you know for a fact she can (and is, in my case… hi, rach! lol)

right now i am stressed over spring semester. i need to register for three classes in order to graduate on time and i’m worried i’ll be denied. a month ago, i thought i was graduating in fall 2013. i have been planning my life with the notion that i’d be at la verne for one more year. when i saw my advisor last week, she notified me that i could graduate in spring if i took a full course load. i was shocked. 

this is something i want more than anything in my life right now.

the past semester, i’ve been really confused. i won’t lie, i lost hope. i honestly though i’d be in college forever… the idea of being a super senior was horrifying. now that i see the light at the end of the tunnel, i feel rejuvenated. the spark of hope is rebuilding my ambition. i’m not worried about taking a full-load… i know i can do it. i know i can graduate in spring if they just give me my classes. 

so it’s safe to say that it all comes down to the system. i hate the idea of my destiny being out of my control due to scheduling/registration technicalities. 

everyone… anyone who’s reading this… please send good thoughts my way!!!!

I’m hungry

Hello, World. How are you today?

Im fine… Chewing gum. At my god awful internship. Taking dimensions of rocks! Woohoo. Exciting stuff! … Not.

Guess the jokes on me, though…. Im the one stuck here on this beautiful day. I have 3 more hours today. And 4.5 hours tomorrow until i reach my 96 hour goal.

Guys are weird. Cant love with em, cant live without em.

The guy I’ve been dating for the past couple of months is kind of a mess… But I dont mean that in the conventional way. He doesn’t do drugs, he lives on his own (and has been since he was 18), and has a great-paying full time job. What i mean by “a mess” is his scattered personality… He seems to be a bunch of different guys wrapped into one depending on what his mood is. I can distinctly pick out 4 different personas. When he’s sober, he can either be really sweet and romantic or outgoing and playful. When he’s drunk he’s other a complete asshole or weird goofball. Maybe i shouldn’t be psychoanalyzing this guy…. But whatever, it’s interesting and im dating him. Lately I’ve just been feeling laissez-faire about our situation because im sort of over trying to figure him out, trying to figure out what it is that i dont like about him…. So i can clear the air and we can both move on.

The last time i saw him, he was piss drunk. I had driven over to his place and planned to take him to go get food. We see driving in his neighborhood, one im not familiar with at all, so i ask him to navigate me. After a while he stops navigating, so i mindlessly keep driving straight, waiting for him to tell me to turn. Out of no where he starts yelling at me, asking me what the hell im doing, telling me i suck at driving, and he’s so pissed that he’d rather just go home than get food. Usually if someone’s acting a wee bit bitchy, i brush it off because we can all get that way sometimes–especially when drunk and hungry. But he was so aggressive about something minuscule, i had to speak up and defend myself… His personality flipped again–he started showering me with kisses and holding my hand…..

He’s overly sloppy when he’s drunk. He appears to drink a lot. And when he gets drunk, the smallest things trigger him, and he turns into a completely different guy. I think i may be dealing with an abusive alcoholic? Sounds like a slippery slope but he’s only 24…

When one door closes, another one opens.

An old friend has made an effort and reached out to me. It made me happy. I hope its sincere :)

wow

my computer is lagging so hard right now. it’s frustrating.

i’ve been MIA the past couple of weeks…. i’ve been needing to detox and finally it just sort of fell into my lap. i’m making it work. i’m staying positive and fighting for what i know is right in my heart. i can do this. 

now that i feel rejuvenated, i need to push through this last week of school and finals. i am feeling so exhausted and drained… jesus. i’ve been in school for the past 15 years of my life. and i’m over it. 

thank god for my loved ones. they encourage me to keep going.

belief in an answer is as important as belief in the question itself…..

does that even make sense? lol.