listening to some cool music i downloaded last night… G-Eazy’s “Stay High”. He’s an underground rapper I really admire. My roommate my freshman year showed him to me and I fell in love! He’s a deep lyricist who exposes his struggles to beats that he makes in his own dorm room! I’m sure he’s moved out now and “Stay High” wasn’t made in a dorm room… still though, I love it none the less.
I’m supposed to be napping right now. I slept 4 hours last night. I woke up late for work! Eek! Honest mistakes can sometimes feel the crummiest in a way…. It’s kind of like being ignorant and not even knowing that you’re ignorant.
Anyways, i’m rambling. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately!! Not in any way major-related… But i’ve been getting through some “classics”, as I believe Barnes and Noble refers to them lol. I finished Age of Innocence (by Edith Wharton)… and now I’m barrelling through Jane Eyre (by Charlotte Bronte). Age of Innocence was amazing because, though it was fictional, it was a personal account of the upper-crust society in New York during the late 19th century. The battle of Newland’s fondness of novelty and the traditions ingrained in him was, I found to be, extremely intoxicating to the anthropologist mind. Side note–just hear a male, adult neighbor clap and scream. There must be a sporting event on… Anyways, I’m only about 12 chapters into Jane Eyre and so far, I find it to be extremely relatable even though it was written nearly 200 years ago and is set in that time. Jane struggles to find balance between her right to be loved (along with her feelings of entitlement and moxie towards concerning that idea) and religious ideas of enduring what is naturally occurring.
Anyways, I’m rambling…. Onto the point of my blog:
How do you know that you can trust someone?
At what point does a relationship with someone cross the boundary into something beyond acquaintances? At what point do you realize that you can believe this other person is acting genuinely? Is there length of time you must know someone in order for this to happen? Do you have to experience a situation where trust is tested in order to realize that you trust someone? Are these qualifications universal to all serious human relationships?
When I meet new people, I see how they behave and the type of information that they tell me. I treat everyone differently because everyone is unique and I customize my judgement of them accordingly to those factors. If I feel like I can trust someone, I will start to open up, privately, and see how they react to what I’m telling them. If word spreads, I’ll know I can’t trust them. But if mums the word, then I’ve established the first layer of a trusting relationship. If they listen and ask about the topic the next time that I see them, I can tell that they genuinely care. I will trust someone until someone gives me a reason not to… and if need be, I will confront them. For all I know, they could be making an honest mistake and communicating how they hurt me would prevent problems in the future?
When I say relationships, i refer to friendships as well. Romantic relationships seem tough, but sometimes friendships can be tough too. I’ve been at a point in my life where I’ve weeded out the so-called “friends” from my true “friends” that I know that I can trust. Once I graduated high school, I’ve kept the bullshit in my life to a minimum. I know how i deserve to be treated and people’s negativity is contagious. I think you know when to not trust someone when you feel like you’re conforming, or bullied, or getting deliberately hurt by another person’s actions.
Food for thought.. What do you guys think? How do you know that you can trust someone?